I want to sell these guys a car. 9.02.2006

Short story: In 2004, the United Nations passes Resolution 1559 which requires, amongst other things, that Lebanon disarms Hezballah. Lebanon fails. Hezballah starts shoting Iranian rockets at Israel. Israel invades Lebanon.

The United Nations passes Resolution 1701, which amongst other things requires Lebanon to implement Resolution 1559.

And so we arrive at the sorry state of affairs where:

(1) Europe fails to pledge the troops required under Resolution 1701.
(2) Lebanon will not disarm Hezballah
(3) When the other two actors (Europe and Lebanon) refused to uphold their bargain, which would result in a safer and more secure Israel, Israel then tells the world to go pound sand, the United Nations accuses Israel of violating Resolution 1701.

My understanding of such things is that they're like a contract: two parties agree to give something up in exchange for something from the other party. But this doesn't seem to be the case with 1701, where any violation of the terms on Israel's side is met with condemnation by the same parties who refuse to do one damned thing about their own responsibilities under the same resolution.


I'd like to sell Secretary General Kofi Annan a used car.

You see, I don't actually have a used car that is for sale. No matter; the United Nations doesn't have an effective and cohesive ideology, fighting force, or even can be impartial--I don't have a car. Integrity smintegrity. Who cares? But I'm still willing to sell him a used car for $10,000 under contract--call it U.N. Resolution 1993: The Sale of a Car to Secretary General Kofi Annan.

Who cares if I don't actually have a car and have no intention of delivering it: I want my God Damned Money from Kofi Annan! Kofi Annan is violating my rights!

And let's be honest: we haven't even passed the Resolution--it doesn't matter; now that the resolution has been discussed and His Honerable Secretary General Kofi Annan has clearly reneged on his side of the resolution I'm going to demand he cough up the $10,000--because Damn It, HE'S IN VIOLATION OF WORLD LAW AND UNITED NATIONS RULE!

posted by William Woody at 10:38 AM

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